Chronic Depression and Distorted Body Image

I weigh 161 pounds. I’m 5’2.

I feel ugly. Disappointed in myself. But I’ve always thought I was fat, even at 101 pounds. But now I realize that wasn’t fat. I was just seeing things differently. If only I could go back and tell that 15 year old me, you’re not fat, I would.

I still struggle. Anorexia is a lifetime war. Each meal is a battle. I feel like people stare at me. Point out omg, that fat girl.

Having depression along with it doesn’t help. I spiral downward and downward. I hit bottom so many times mentally and emotionally.

It’s draining and tiring. It’s like I can’t breathe. I want to let it out. But I get so sad I can’t breathe. How do you expect me to talk about my demons when they’re sitting on my lungs?

Just one of those days. I’ll be okay. I have my husband. He’s everything to me.

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